Has this Pessimist Remained Practically Positive

Last June I wrote a blog called How a Pessimist became Practically Positive and I thought you might be interested to hear if I've managed to remain optimistic. I'm sorry to say that my Happy Rambles have fallen by the wayside, more down to a lack of time than a lack of interest, but I do try to take a few moments each evening to think about what I'm grateful for, so all is not lost.

As last Christmas approached I found it harder to be positive and optimistic. It's a conflicting time of year for me, because on Christmas Eve 1999 I learned that my Mum had terminal cancer – which I discovered by reading something I shouldn't have! – but then on Christmas Eve 2009 I went into labour with my son, who was then born on the evening of Boxing Day. The most terrible and most wonderful times of my life all focused on my favourite time of year.

So, I now struggle with looking forward to Christmas and seeing my son grow and become a year older, with the memories of my Mum being ill and losing her combined with the sadness that she never met my son and he will never have the experience of fun and mischievous Grandma his cousins had. This means the time between early December and the 8th March (which is the day my Mum passed away) is my "black cloud" time. I feel a bit like that character from the Snoopy cartoons, who has a black cloud hovering over him.

But, last year was different. I don't know if it was because time is passing and I feel the loss is less - although I believe a loss that huge doesn't lessen, you just learn to live with it and have good days and bad days – or it's down to my son being older and enjoying Christmas and his birthday a lot more and getting caught up in the magic of Christmas.

Actually I truly believe that this time the difference has been down to the fact that I had learned to be more positive and had become more accustomed to looking for the positives in a situation or mood. I have tried to be more mindful of what is going on around me and to be grateful for all the things I have that money can't buy; such as my gorgeous son, a loving and supportive husband, good friends and family who I love and who love me.

I know that I have so much to be thankful for and that nobody would be happier for me than my Mum and that also brings me some comfort. Of course, nothing will ever fill the gap she left in my life, but the skills I've built through learning more about positive psychology help me to keep that black cloud in the distance, rather than directly overhead.

It's been a bumpy journey but I think it's safe to say that the old pessimist in me has gone, or at least been shut in a cupboard, and the new practically positive me is making steady progress towards full-on optimism. Now that's something to be grateful for.

Well being